Encouraging Word · Singleness

A girl’s heartbreak – Q&A Part 2

 

a girls heartbreak part 2

 

I hope you enjoy part 2 of the Q&A.

 

C: I know that this wasn’t the case with you, but what advice would you give to someone experiencing abuse in a relationship?

J: It’s really hard because many young women want to stay if they love that person, but then again if they are experiencing any kind of abuse then obviously it’s not love. It’s hard because some people have children in the relationship but you just need to know your worth at the end of the day and what you deserve and don’t deserve.

C: What advice would you give to someone who’s about to enter into a relationship?

J: If you are getting into a relationship don’t forget to love yourself. Don’t make the other person your world. Make sure that your life does not revolve around that person but Jesus.

C: You spoke about the importance of prayer, is there anything else that helped you through the break up?

J: Reading books, stories about other young women who went through similar situations as me.

C: Can you tell us one of the books that you read and what you would recommend for someone going through a break up?

J: The Single Woman by Mandy Hale. This book really helped me realise my worth again, but I feel like I need more time to get that worth back. The book made me feel really important, it’s a good book.

C: Anything else?

J: The devotion that you gave me, it encouraged me a lot. I think it’s also good to read any motivational books that will help.  The word of God is also important because you can always find a verse or a story that relates to your situation.

C: That is so true. What importance did this relationship or break up serve in your life and in your relationship with God?

J: It changed the way I think about love. Before I always thought that love could conquer everything as long as you stay together but after the break up I realised that it doesn’t always happen. I’m more wiser and my values have changed. The break up has definitely pulled me closer to God. God is the only one who can make you feel better and  for you to be able to understand things. No one in this world can make you feel the way God does. It’s like I know I can cope but God is the only one who can help me.

C: I totally agree with everything you have said, it’s amazing that God understands the full puzzle even when we don’t understand even one piece of the puzzle. what  would you tell someone who has gone through heartbreak and is embarking on another relationship?

J: Give yourself time to heal and love yourself. Know yourself and love love yourself, don’t expect the other person to complete you.  Get to know you, how can you give your best as a person if you have personal issues. So know who you are.

C:  It’s almost valentines day, what recommendations would you give to single young women regarding this day?

J: That they can treat themselves. Spend time with your friends and celebrate. Valentines day is about love, so you can celebrate love between your family and friends… it’s not just about couples.  There are so many things you can do, do something that will make you feel better.

A big thank you to my amazing friend for pouring her heart out and answering these questions. This girl has been through so much in the past couple of months, in spite of this she has remained strong and positive. It has been really inspiring to witness her strength.

I hope that you have an amazing week, I have another post planned for valentines day, fears worries and some advice on relationships… so please stay tuned and keep an eye out for the post.

Thank you so much for reading,

-Claris 🙂 Xx

 

Encouraging Word · Singleness

A girl’s heartbreak – Q&A Part 1

themissiongirl-wordpress-com

I was so fortunate enough to have a heart to heart conversation with my brave, beautiful, kind and loving friend. We were talking and before I could stop myself, I  reached for my pen and notebook and all of a sudden I found myself scribbling our entire conversation on paper as my inner journalist became apparent. This impromptu  Q&A  ladies and gentlemen is an imprint of where our conversation lead us.

I hope that through reading this you can get a glimpse of what it feels like to experience heartbreak from a girl who never saw it coming and gain some insights on how she coped and how God utilised this experience in her life for the better.

C: What was your reaction when he decided to break up with you?

J: My world stopped, I was like wow!. why has he all of a sudden decided to break up with me. I was so curious as to why he decided to break up. When he broke up with me I couldn’t find a reason, all the reasons he gave me were invalid.

C:  I know it must be really hard for you to talk about it now but how did you feel at that moment?

J: It’s really hard because you feel as if there’s something wrong with you. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt bad. I felt like I didn’t give my all while in the relationship. I felt miserable. I knew my worth but after the break up I questioned myself whether I was worth loving. It’s like an elastic band, who ever lets go of the elastic band first hurts the person still holding on to it. It’s painful.

C: What are some of the lessons that you learned from this particular experience?

J: I learned that it’s really important that your family knows the person that you are in a relationship with and for the person to also try to make an effort to get to know your family. It’s important that your family likes the person, their approval is very important. You can’t decide by yourself. When I was in a relationship with him I didn’t tell my parents and they disapproved because they didn’t know who he was at first. It’s important that my mum and dad like the person because their approval is important. When I got hurt the people around me got hurt too, because when you are hurting from a broken heart the people around you are effected as well.

C: After being in a relationship with him for so long how did you pick yourself up after the break up? and how did you cope without him in your life?

J: It was really hard at first, I didn’t know what to do. I prayed every time I felt weak, I prayed for God to give me strength and to heal me. It’s hard because you can get mad at the other person, I was upset about what happened. I know that God will guide me, I know that there are  reasons behind the break up so I trust God knowing that it happened for the better.

It’s very important that you pray. I never lost hope, I trusted God because I couldn’t cope on my own. Every time I prayed I felt so much better. The first thing that helped me move on was definitely prayer. Praying and asking for healing and also family, they’re there to help you and to give you the love that you need. Also, friends will help you to pick yourself up but ultimately you are the person that has to decide to move on. Your friends and family are there to support you.

C: In your own words what do you think are some of the most important qualities in a relationship?

J:  Love, communication and trust. You can love anyone but then the hardest thing is to stay in love. It’s your choice to stay in love. Love is a choice, it’s a commitment to stay in love with the person. There’s always a reason behind a break up, if there is an issue then the other person should bring up the issue and communicate it so that the other person in the relationship is aware of the issue. Trust, I trusted Him 100%. It’s important to trust someone but also not to forget that a person is  capable of making mistakes as well and that they are not perfect.

C: What would you say to someone going through a similar experience?

J: Never lose hope. Even though you don’t understand why it’s happening, continue to trust God because He knows why it’s happening, everything happens for a reason. Also, ask for God’s guidance because  He can heal your mind, your heart, He can give you peace so that’s why it’s very important to pray. If you feel sad, miserable just pray and remember that you will never stay in that situation forever.

Thank you so much for reading this, I will post part 2 of this Q&A next week.

Have a blessed week!

-Claris 🙂 X x

 

Encouraging Word · Inspire · Personal · Singleness

A reason for the season

season for a reason

Seasons are great, they come at different times of the year, they are all unique in their own ways and they exist to manifest different purposes.  As a young child when asked what my favourite season was  I would straight away blurt out sun meaning that my favourite season was  summer. If you ask me the same question right now it would take me a while to answer the exact same question, this is because I have grown to learn that beauty can be found in every season. No matter how cold winter may seem or how messy your neighbourhood may become due to the autumn season, the truth is that beauty can be found in both winter, autumn as well as in spring and summer.

Being a self-proclaimed lover of snow (one of the beautiful things that winter offers) there’s no denying that the coldness of  the winter season makes me wish I could just skip winter  all together and jump to autumn, spring or summer instead.

Just like I wish I could  skip  or rush winter because of how cold it can become, as children of God we can try to speed Continue reading “A reason for the season”