Encouraging Word · Singleness

A girl’s heartbreak – Q&A Part 2

 

a girls heartbreak part 2

 

I hope you enjoy part 2 of the Q&A.

 

C: I know that this wasn’t the case with you, but what advice would you give to someone experiencing abuse in a relationship?

J: It’s really hard because many young women want to stay if they love that person, but then again if they are experiencing any kind of abuse then obviously it’s not love. It’s hard because some people have children in the relationship but you just need to know your worth at the end of the day and what you deserve and don’t deserve.

C: What advice would you give to someone who’s about to enter into a relationship?

J: If you are getting into a relationship don’t forget to love yourself. Don’t make the other person your world. Make sure that your life does not revolve around that person but Jesus.

C: You spoke about the importance of prayer, is there anything else that helped you through the break up?

J: Reading books, stories about other young women who went through similar situations as me.

C: Can you tell us one of the books that you read and what you would recommend for someone going through a break up?

J: The Single Woman by Mandy Hale. This book really helped me realise my worth again, but I feel like I need more time to get that worth back. The book made me feel really important, it’s a good book.

C: Anything else?

J: The devotion that you gave me, it encouraged me a lot. I think it’s also good to read any motivational books that will help.  The word of God is also important because you can always find a verse or a story that relates to your situation.

C: That is so true. What importance did this relationship or break up serve in your life and in your relationship with God?

J: It changed the way I think about love. Before I always thought that love could conquer everything as long as you stay together but after the break up I realised that it doesn’t always happen. I’m more wiser and my values have changed. The break up has definitely pulled me closer to God. God is the only one who can make you feel better and  for you to be able to understand things. No one in this world can make you feel the way God does. It’s like I know I can cope but God is the only one who can help me.

C: I totally agree with everything you have said, it’s amazing that God understands the full puzzle even when we don’t understand even one piece of the puzzle. what  would you tell someone who has gone through heartbreak and is embarking on another relationship?

J: Give yourself time to heal and love yourself. Know yourself and love love yourself, don’t expect the other person to complete you.  Get to know you, how can you give your best as a person if you have personal issues. So know who you are.

C:  It’s almost valentines day, what recommendations would you give to single young women regarding this day?

J: That they can treat themselves. Spend time with your friends and celebrate. Valentines day is about love, so you can celebrate love between your family and friends… it’s not just about couples.  There are so many things you can do, do something that will make you feel better.

A big thank you to my amazing friend for pouring her heart out and answering these questions. This girl has been through so much in the past couple of months, in spite of this she has remained strong and positive. It has been really inspiring to witness her strength.

I hope that you have an amazing week, I have another post planned for valentines day, fears worries and some advice on relationships… so please stay tuned and keep an eye out for the post.

Thank you so much for reading,

-Claris 🙂 Xx

 

Encouraging Word · Singleness

A girl’s heartbreak – Q&A Part 1

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I was so fortunate enough to have a heart to heart conversation with my brave, beautiful, kind and loving friend. We were talking and before I could stop myself, I  reached for my pen and notebook and all of a sudden I found myself scribbling our entire conversation on paper as my inner journalist became apparent. This impromptu  Q&A  ladies and gentlemen is an imprint of where our conversation lead us.

I hope that through reading this you can get a glimpse of what it feels like to experience heartbreak from a girl who never saw it coming and gain some insights on how she coped and how God utilised this experience in her life for the better.

C: What was your reaction when he decided to break up with you?

J: My world stopped, I was like wow!. why has he all of a sudden decided to break up with me. I was so curious as to why he decided to break up. When he broke up with me I couldn’t find a reason, all the reasons he gave me were invalid.

C:  I know it must be really hard for you to talk about it now but how did you feel at that moment?

J: It’s really hard because you feel as if there’s something wrong with you. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt bad. I felt like I didn’t give my all while in the relationship. I felt miserable. I knew my worth but after the break up I questioned myself whether I was worth loving. It’s like an elastic band, who ever lets go of the elastic band first hurts the person still holding on to it. It’s painful.

C: What are some of the lessons that you learned from this particular experience?

J: I learned that it’s really important that your family knows the person that you are in a relationship with and for the person to also try to make an effort to get to know your family. It’s important that your family likes the person, their approval is very important. You can’t decide by yourself. When I was in a relationship with him I didn’t tell my parents and they disapproved because they didn’t know who he was at first. It’s important that my mum and dad like the person because their approval is important. When I got hurt the people around me got hurt too, because when you are hurting from a broken heart the people around you are effected as well.

C: After being in a relationship with him for so long how did you pick yourself up after the break up? and how did you cope without him in your life?

J: It was really hard at first, I didn’t know what to do. I prayed every time I felt weak, I prayed for God to give me strength and to heal me. It’s hard because you can get mad at the other person, I was upset about what happened. I know that God will guide me, I know that there are  reasons behind the break up so I trust God knowing that it happened for the better.

It’s very important that you pray. I never lost hope, I trusted God because I couldn’t cope on my own. Every time I prayed I felt so much better. The first thing that helped me move on was definitely prayer. Praying and asking for healing and also family, they’re there to help you and to give you the love that you need. Also, friends will help you to pick yourself up but ultimately you are the person that has to decide to move on. Your friends and family are there to support you.

C: In your own words what do you think are some of the most important qualities in a relationship?

J:  Love, communication and trust. You can love anyone but then the hardest thing is to stay in love. It’s your choice to stay in love. Love is a choice, it’s a commitment to stay in love with the person. There’s always a reason behind a break up, if there is an issue then the other person should bring up the issue and communicate it so that the other person in the relationship is aware of the issue. Trust, I trusted Him 100%. It’s important to trust someone but also not to forget that a person is  capable of making mistakes as well and that they are not perfect.

C: What would you say to someone going through a similar experience?

J: Never lose hope. Even though you don’t understand why it’s happening, continue to trust God because He knows why it’s happening, everything happens for a reason. Also, ask for God’s guidance because  He can heal your mind, your heart, He can give you peace so that’s why it’s very important to pray. If you feel sad, miserable just pray and remember that you will never stay in that situation forever.

Thank you so much for reading this, I will post part 2 of this Q&A next week.

Have a blessed week!

-Claris 🙂 X x

 

Encouraging Word

2017… Something new

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Happy New year!.

When I first started writing on this little blog, I didn’t think anyone would even read what I wrote. It doesn’t sound quite right coming from a girl who is all about positivity, but at the time that’s what I thought. To tell you the truth, there ‘re times where I still feel like that.

Thoughts like “why am I even bothering to write this, no one will even read it” or “your blog is too small how can you make an impact through it”. It may not be related to blogging or writing but do these words sound familiar to you?.

Maybe you have heard words like you are not good enough, smart enough, qualified enough or educated enough, from someone or maybe it was just simply the voice of fear.

Creating this little blog was a big step for me. Firstly, I’m not a writer and secondly English was not my best subject at school… I liked it but it didn’t like me that’s for sure. I still passed in the end though.

In 2017, I dare you to try and do something new that scares you. something out of your comfort zone.  Something that will stretch and bend you.

Don’t allow negative people or the voice of  fear stop  you from trying  something new  that could potentially impact you or those around you in a positive way. Something new that could stretch you and  get you out of your comfort zone but also make you grow as a person and make you stronger.  I love writing so much, but if I chose to stay in my little corner and just store all my writing in my journal how would I have known that I had this great passion for words that I could utilise to encourage other people.

So, weather it’s eating something you have never ate, applying for that job, meeting new people, a new hobby, writing a song, applying for university to study that course you have always wanted to study, writing a book, joining the gym, going somewhere you have never been before. What ever it is. try it!. I dare you!.

 

Here are some of the things I learned  in 2016…

1)You may not be pretty like her but you sure are still dang pretty, in your own unique way.

2) It’s never too late to start afresh.

3) Words are valuable, they have a great impact when used correctly at the right moment.

4) It’s ok to stick out like a sore thumb in a world that’s full of sheep. Don’t be like John or follow what Diana is doing! Be You! Do You!.

5) You can simply make a change by being the best version of yourself in your work place, school, college or uni.

6) It’s ok not to be ok, and it’s perfectly ok to take some time out for yourself to ponder about yourself.

7) Do things because you love to do them not because you want the acknowledgement or applause of other, because soon or later the applause will die down… And then what?.

8) It’s better to have a few friends who are loyal, encouraging and spur you on than a whole Lotta friends who suck the energy out of you and are all about negativity… Ain’t nobody got time for that.

9) Birthdays are less about presents…I have realised that spending precious time with friends and family and growing a year older is a blessing in itself!.

10)You will never regret making a sacrifice for something or someone you love… Because it’s always dang worth it.

Happy New Year!. It’s 2017… still can’t believe it.

Thank you for reading!.

Speak to you soon.

-Claris X x

Encouraging Word · Inspire

The best kind of beautiful

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When I typed the word ‘beauty’ into google search images  some of the images that I was greeted with were a flawless looking woman without a wrinkle in  sight,  a woman with amazing bouncy shiny looking hair, a woman with perfect looking eyebrows (or you can say they were on fleek ) and so on.

Most of the images that I came across focused on outward beauty. Outward  beauty is something that many people strive to achieve each day because many people want to look their best and there is nothing wrong with that. However,  when we choose to focus and invest more on our outward beauty than we do on our inward beauty then the  true representation of  beauty can be lost along the way.

This is because beauty is more than having the perfect figure, a flawless face, perfect “on fleek” eyebrows or an amazing contoured face.

Beauty is much more than that, beauty transcends far and beyond our outward appearance.

You can’t rely on outward beauty to carry you through life.  Your outward beauty has to always be accompanied by your inner beauty.

You can be beautiful outwardly, but if you have a heart that’s filled with hatred towards others, a heart that never forgives,  an ungrateful heart, a heart that’s filled with Continue reading “The best kind of beautiful”

Encouraging Word · Faith - Hope - Love

Thoughts

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A thought is:

An idea, plan, opinion or a picture that’s formed in your mind.

The act or process of thinking.

The act of carefully thinking about the details of something.

 

Jeremiah 29:11 declares:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

God has thoughts about you.

Thoughts about your life, your dreams, your family, your  employment, your education, your surroundings. Thoughts about the things that make you smile, happy, sad as well as the things that may keep you up at night and prevent you from sleeping because you are worried.

 

Thoughts from God

The thoughts that Jeremiah 29:11 tells us about are from God alone and not from a human being, I love how this is articulated through the usage of the letter I.

Since these thoughts are from God alone, it doesn’t matter what people’s thoughts are towards you. It doesn’t  matter weather people think less of you or weather or not  you will succeed. It  doesn’t  matter if people speak negative things upon your life, it doesn’t matter if  people call you a failure or think you are  not good enough or pretty enough because guess what God’s thoughts matter the most and are more important than anyone else’s thoughts.

God thinks you are worth it. that’s why He created you fearfully and wonderfully according to His own image. You are not a failure in his eyes, God created you in such a way that He has made you able to Continue reading “Thoughts”

Encouraging Word

Hello August

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This powerful quote is for you, as we say bye bye to July  let’s not forget to leave  behind all the things that did not work out for us or do us any good. The past is in the past, we are heading forward now.

Think about the above quote, let it sink in.

Think about what you are going through.

How can you use your situation for the better and benefit from it as we enter into a new month.

God has a plan, Let’s look forward knowing that His plan is a better plan and that it shall be manifested within us. His plan is far better than our own or far above what we could ever imagine.

So leave July and all it’s worries, problems, tears,  sadness, complaining, baggage and negativity behind and welcome August with a smile on your face and a positive attitude ready to receive what God has prepared for  you in the month of August.

You got this Girl!.

#teampositivity

Thank you for reading,  talk to you soon.

-Claris

 

 

 

Encouraging Word

This girl can… through Christ

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I  managed to pass all my second year  exams at uni.

No let me rephrase that,

I  managed to pass all my second year exams at uni by the strength of Christ within me.

Now that’s much better.

How amazing does the second statement sound just by tweaking it slightly and adding in a few words… so much better right?.

The first statement is all about ME ME ME and ME, it credit’s my  own human strength, which  does not measure  up to Christ’s strength at all. Frankly, my strength alone isn’t enough to carry me through uni and help me pass my challenging nursing exams, let alone get me through this obstacle filled journey of faith.

The second statement point’s to Christ as the source of my success. It’s all about Him. The second statement even empowers me the more I read it because  It credit’s  Christ as the source of my strength and the reason behind me succeeding Continue reading “This girl can… through Christ”