I was so fortunate enough to have a heart to heart conversation with my brave, beautiful, kind and loving friend. We were talking and before I could stop myself, I reached for my pen and notebook and all of a sudden I found myself scribbling our entire conversation on paper as my inner journalist became apparent. This impromptu Q&A ladies and gentlemen is an imprint of where our conversation lead us.
I hope that through reading this you can get a glimpse of what it feels like to experience heartbreak from a girl who never saw it coming and gain some insights on how she coped and how God utilised this experience in her life for the better.
C: What was your reaction when he decided to break up with you?
J: My world stopped, I was like wow!. why has he all of a sudden decided to break up with me. I was so curious as to why he decided to break up. When he broke up with me I couldn’t find a reason, all the reasons he gave me were invalid.
C: I know it must be really hard for you to talk about it now but how did you feel at that moment?
J: It’s really hard because you feel as if there’s something wrong with you. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt bad. I felt like I didn’t give my all while in the relationship. I felt miserable. I knew my worth but after the break up I questioned myself whether I was worth loving. It’s like an elastic band, who ever lets go of the elastic band first hurts the person still holding on to it. It’s painful.
C: What are some of the lessons that you learned from this particular experience?
J: I learned that it’s really important that your family knows the person that you are in a relationship with and for the person to also try to make an effort to get to know your family. It’s important that your family likes the person, their approval is very important. You can’t decide by yourself. When I was in a relationship with him I didn’t tell my parents and they disapproved because they didn’t know who he was at first. It’s important that my mum and dad like the person because their approval is important. When I got hurt the people around me got hurt too, because when you are hurting from a broken heart the people around you are effected as well.
C: After being in a relationship with him for so long how did you pick yourself up after the break up? and how did you cope without him in your life?
J: It was really hard at first, I didn’t know what to do. I prayed every time I felt weak, I prayed for God to give me strength and to heal me. It’s hard because you can get mad at the other person, I was upset about what happened. I know that God will guide me, I know that there are reasons behind the break up so I trust God knowing that it happened for the better.
It’s very important that you pray. I never lost hope, I trusted God because I couldn’t cope on my own. Every time I prayed I felt so much better. The first thing that helped me move on was definitely prayer. Praying and asking for healing and also family, they’re there to help you and to give you the love that you need. Also, friends will help you to pick yourself up but ultimately you are the person that has to decide to move on. Your friends and family are there to support you.
C: In your own words what do you think are some of the most important qualities in a relationship?
J: Love, communication and trust. You can love anyone but then the hardest thing is to stay in love. It’s your choice to stay in love. Love is a choice, it’s a commitment to stay in love with the person. There’s always a reason behind a break up, if there is an issue then the other person should bring up the issue and communicate it so that the other person in the relationship is aware of the issue. Trust, I trusted Him 100%. It’s important to trust someone but also not to forget that a person is capable of making mistakes as well and that they are not perfect.
C: What would you say to someone going through a similar experience?
J: Never lose hope. Even though you don’t understand why it’s happening, continue to trust God because He knows why it’s happening, everything happens for a reason. Also, ask for God’s guidance because He can heal your mind, your heart, He can give you peace so that’s why it’s very important to pray. If you feel sad, miserable just pray and remember that you will never stay in that situation forever.
Thank you so much for reading this, I will post part 2 of this Q&A next week.
Have a blessed week!
-Claris 🙂 X x